idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
