yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
