You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
