i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
