We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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