Swine flu. Run for my life!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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