she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
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I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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