Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
