Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
