did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
