All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
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Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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