WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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