Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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