she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
