im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
