tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
