he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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