if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
