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• (281): View more from Texas

  had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.

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• (831): View more from California

  period poops. best. ever.

  (925): View more from California

  omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.

  (316): View more from Kansas

  That's the best creepy text ever.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......

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• (206): View more from Washington

  sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...

  (425): View more from Washington

  The subtweets were good enough

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD

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• (909): View more from California

  Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"

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