I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom