Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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