and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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