Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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(443): Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check. http://tfl.nu/gtrd

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(248): View more from Michigan

after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life

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(248): after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life http://tfl.nu/k9mo

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(703): View more from Virginia

like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.

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(703): like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it. http://tfl.nu/vg3u

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(217): View more from Illinois

The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.

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(217): The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time. http://tfl.nu/mdb9

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

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(732): He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs. http://tfl.nu/h7d3

Replies (12) Good night (3794) Bad night (1214)
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(914): View more from New York

He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name

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(914): He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name http://tfl.nu/48t9

Replies (3) Good night (3344) Bad night (1005)
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(805): View more from California

She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.

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(805): She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds. http://tfl.nu/ggeo

Replies (4) Good night (1637) Bad night (673)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...

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(203): Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked... http://tfl.nu/yapw

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(204): View more from Manitoba

when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best

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(204): when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this? (1-204): ....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best http://tfl.nu/o3b5

Replies (7) Good night (2399) Bad night (733)
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(937): View more from Ohio

And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.

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(937): And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso. http://tfl.nu/q5xa

Replies (2) Good night (1092) Bad night (585)
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(980): View more from North Carolina

Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo

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(980): Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo http://tfl.nu/82bd

Replies (1) Good night (1058) Bad night (475)
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(509): View more from Washington

In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?

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(509): In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married? http://tfl.nu/eg0w

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.

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(781): Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student. http://tfl.nu/i7ug

Replies (1) Good night (722) Bad night (337)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.

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(781): also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle. http://tfl.nu/lhc0

Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (320)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.

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(503): I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops. http://tfl.nu/aobd

Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (495)

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