32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.