i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You did what with his pubic hair?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
