Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
