I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
