So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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