It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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