just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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