Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
