Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sext me about skeletons
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
