Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ttyl tear gas
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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