Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
