i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
