So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
