Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
