When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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