She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
