i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
