Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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