If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Someone signed my nipple.
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