I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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