Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
