she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
