shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
