Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
PANTIES FOUND
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
