ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
