So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
