Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
