i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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