The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
