I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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