In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
