Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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