You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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