Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
