Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
