I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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