she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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