Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
