So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just invented taco cereal.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
