Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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