So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
