You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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