North Korea, Best Korea!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
MIDGETS
????
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
