so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
