"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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