So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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