a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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