dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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