i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
