Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i dont even know how to be here
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
