if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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