did you get engaged???
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
