Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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