he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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