I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
