Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize