Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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